MY DUMB AZZ: The Workout

In college, there was a young who I had fallen head over heels with. She was smart & conscious, she was funny, she was dark-skinned, she was older, and she had a great body from college basketball. I’d droll whenever I saw her. Now, I made it known several times that I was attracted to her. Even pulled her number. But every time I’d make a move, she told me that she already had somebody or that she wasn’t feeling me.

But I kept flirting and I think it just made her feel good (as it should). Sometimes, the flirting seemed to work. For example, on a Facebook status I said I’d name my second son Pharoah and she messaged me “That’s a great name for our 2nd son!” And then a week later, it was like “Dude! No!” I don’t do well with the back and forth. So I subdued some of my feelings thinking she’d never be interested in doing anything with me.

So one day, she texted me saying she needed a workout partner and at the time, I’d been going to the campus weight room every now and again. So I said I’d do it. She wanted to use her apartment’s fitness center, so she picked me up from campus and brought me back. We worked out and she invited me up to her place. She showered, turned on an On-Demand movie, turned off the lights, and sat on the couch about 4 feet away from me.

And then MY DUMB AZZ fell asleep. Shortly after, she put me out.

AND THEN LIGHTNING STURCK TWICE! She invited me over again, and this time, just to chill. THIS TIME, I wised up and brought a couple condoms. Same deal.  She turned on a movie. Turned down the lights. And I’m nervous as hell knowing what she wants but not sure how to go about it. I’ve never been Type A like that. And THEN. MY DUMB AZZ fell asleep. Yes. Again sleep.  She put MY DUMB AZZ out. AGAIN.

These aren’t the only opportunities she presented to me. I couldn’t see it five years ago but she pitched me softballs. Hell, the girl even invited me to church with her, which I hear in the south is a HUGE deal. Nevertheless nothing ever happened. She’s still a great woman AND mother now (obviously not mine).