MY DUMB AZZ: The Olympian

Coming to Texas, my goal was to become a teacher. I researched online and found an program for alternative certification that required me taking online courses as well as attend classes in-person. The class was held in one room with 200 people and, as you could imagine, mostly women.

I’d just got to Texas and, at the time, I was riding the struggle bus, no job, while sleeping on my brother’s floor. In fact, I borrowed the money for the classes down payment from family(very supportive, thank God). My focus was getting that certification and bettering myself. And besides, I had no money nor place of my own so I didn’t think I had any juice to pull a woman.

 I was studying while reading The 50th Law by Robert Green, a book that speaks about being fearless in all that you do. The book had a huge impact on me and some insecurities I had at the time. 

I noticed one young woman(I mean, I noticed plenty of women there) who came every day in a hat and large hoop earrings. She had big, bright eyes, and some juicy lips. She looked to be in athletic shape(my favorite type of woman, ie my undying love for Serena Williams). I didn’t talk to her because of insecurities and her Resting B**ch Face. She also didn’t sit at my table and many guys in there had commented on how badd she was. I really didn’t know what to say.

The day before the last class, I’d finished The 50th Law and felt motivated to go out and be fearless. I decided to talk to her. After class, I approached her and, in my typical fashion, made conversation on her looking unapproachable in class. She laughed, said she was nice. We had a bit of small talk and then:

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked.

She says, “Yeah, but I’m mad at him right now.”

“Oh really? Well can I get your number?”

She replied, “No but you can follow me on Instagram.”

She gave me her IG, and I followed her. When she followed me back, I opened her page to see things like “_____ National Team”, “Team _____”, and all of the events she participated in. I decided to hit her in the DMs.

What I should’ve said was “Are you still mad at your boyfriend?(winky face emoji)” but MY DUMB AZZ fan-boyed like none other, “Oh wow! You run?? I would’ve never guessed! That’s so cool!” I actually ended up asking about the boyfriend later and she said they made up.

This was Fall 2014. Fast-forward to 2016 and I’m still following her on IG. She’d been talking about training and getting ready for Rio. Recently, she posted pictures of her and the team in Rio for this year’s Olympics. My jaw dropped. My dream of being with a professional athlete thwarted by my own doing. (I’d like to think it’s because I didn’t have the resources to pull it off. That’s what keeps me from feeling REALLY bad.)

Beside the statute of limitation with her probably being up, I can’t touch her when she gets back. Not tryna catch Zika.

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