A Near Death Experience and Life-Saving Advice

I love hoodrats. I like a phat butt. I love chocolate skin. I love a big smile. That’s been true for as long as I can remember. When I was 16, I met a girl on CrushSpot(#tbt) who was all of that. She was A stream of body shots and videos of her twerking(before mainstream) and hip-rolling(YouTube clip), she went to another high school close to me so I definitely hit her up.

We started sending messages back and forth. We were attracted so we met and then had a relationship. By relationship, I mean we talked on the phone everyday since neither of us had a ride or took the bus anywhere. It’s the kind of relationship you have when you’re sheltered. 

However one day, I decided to take the bus to her house. It was fifteen below zero outside and DPS shut down schools for the day. I’d already been up because we had early morning football workouts before they cancelled classes(DPS was always last to announce school closings). My dad left work to pick me up and take me home. Since I’d already left the house, I’d already felt the temperature. It wasn’t that cold to me. She called me and said that her parents went to work and it was on. A teenage boy will scuff his J’s if it means he’s about to get some.

When I get there, her brother is home with his girlfriend. He was also a hoodrat: 18, struggling to get out of 11th grade, had a few fights, had some burglaries, etc. But he was a funny dude. I remember once e had no shame dropping his pants to show an entire room of people the spider bite on his leg. His girlfriend, was a big-un. She was short and round but cool. She seemed to have more sense than the two, but not much. She was cool to me though. 

After spending some time in the living room with them, my girlfriend takes me upstairs to her room, her brother’s room right next door separated by drywall. We start doing our thing. She’s fairly quiet seeing as how her brother was home and I was fairly new to the act myself(he was only my second partner although she thought she was my first). About one minute into it, we hear the floor and her brother’s girlfriend walks in and yells, “Oh my God!” and walks back out. Although slightly startled, I expected that to be the end of it so I kept going. Within 30 seconds, we hear the floor again. With me still on top of her, her brother walks in and my heart(but surprisingly not me erection) dropped. 

He has a confused look on his face and out of nowhere, he starts laughing like it was a clever knock-knock joke. He walks out shortly after.

 I look at my girl, “I thought he was going to kill me.” She replies, “I thought he was too.” Just like horny teens do, we kept going and almost IMMEDIATELY we hear the floor again. I thought for sure that I was dead then. But the brother’s girlfriend walks in and sits on the bed next to us. I don’t know what this girl knew or didn’t but she just started talking.

You don’t have to do anything if you don’t like it. If he’s hurting you, let him know. And make sure you’re always using condoms. And even if you have one on, he should still pull out.

She leaves the room and by this time, they’ve killed the mood. And as we were sitting in bed talking about the last 6 and a half minutes of our lives, we hear her brother’s girlfriend in the next room having a Janet Jacme-esqe performance. She’s snacking the walls, yelling his name, and he’s smacking her somewhere(Idk, everybody likes something different). My girl and I look at each other with wide eyes and disgust. I put on my clothes, we chilled in the living room for a bit and I left. 

The “relationship” didn’t last on account of her being a hoodrat. It was a nasty break-up and we didn’t speak for months. Ironically, I almost died a second time when going to see her later I crashed my mom’s car. 

I listened to God and left her alone. I stopped dating hoodrats. I started dating only skinny dark-skinned girls. And to the day, I still pull out with a condom on.

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